How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Employees
While it is only innate for most of us to avoid unpleasant situations and conflict, particularly within the workplace where we spend a large portion of our lives, the general rule is that avoiding tough conversations certainly won’t make problems go away, and can often make them worse. The same rule can be applied to a variety of situations in life, regardless if it is in the workplace or not.
Left unaddressed, employees presenting difficulties can present significant harm to both the productivity and morale of a company, or even encourage other valuable employees away. This is why it is incredibly vital for workplace leaders to make a conscious effort to hone the skill of addressing difficult yet constructive conversations. Whether these issues relate to work performance or employee behaviour, here are seven effective ways how employers should prepare to address these issues to their employees.
Conquer your fear of difficult conversations
The phrase “meet me in my office” can strike fear into many employees – this can be one of the main reasons as to why so many workplace leaders are reluctant to say them. Managers may also be concerned that conversations won’t go as planned and employees will be left feeling demotivated or even upset. Despite these fears, it’s likely the case that your criticism will help the employee understand how their behaviour or performance affect their environment and others around them. In fact, employees will appreciate your concern and be made aware that they are working within a company that openly cares for them.
Decide on the right setting
The location you choose for the discussion will play a huge role in the overall tone of the meeting, and subsequently how the employee may react to it. Depending on the culture of your company, align the seriousness of the issue with the setting. Serious issues should ideally take place in private to avoid judgement or ridicule from other employees. Conversely, for less pressing issues, a quick chat over lunch in a local cafe or diner may be more appropriate than an on-site meeting. In any case, make sure to choose a setting that allows both members of the discussion to feel comfortable.
Plan what you would like to say
Plan your conversation carefully and be mindful of if the topic is appropriate to discuss in front of the employee’s peers or colleagues. Maintain confidentiality to the greatest extent where possible, and discourage bouts of office rumours and gossip that will only serve to worsen the situation. It can also be helpful to write down what you would like to say to the employee through notes, and consulting with HR before the meeting takes place.
Remain positive
Prior to the meeting, pitch the conversation with language such as a “quick chat” and avoid language that may evoke hostility. A positive tone during the meeting can go a long way. If applicable, try to engage with the employee on a non-confrontational level, and allow them to feel as though you are counting on them to improve and are willing to give them another chance. Try to offer examples of positive things that they can do to improve, and remind them of their past achievements where they have been recognised to motivate them to do so – it’s important to not just focus on what the employee is doing wrong. Leave emotional language at bay and make a strong effort not to deviate away from a factual discussion – doing so can add subjective emotional elements to the conversation. Depending on the situation, try to ask simple yet direct questions which aren’t too demanding and still get your point across.
Be rational
In situations that are outside the delivery of unfavourable news, begin by evaluating the issue and investigate to establish the important facts. For example, an employee that has been accused of crime may require you to investigate the credibility of the accusation for yourself, or even help them speak to a criminal defense attorney. As a business leader, it is crucial to be committed in providing help for your employees in order for them to succeed – a lack of preparation of facts for a meeting will only stagnate your employee’s growth. After evaluating the problem and investigating the facts, remember to outline your workplace expectations and goals for the future.
Be specific
Make sure that the message or advice you are trying to send to the employee is well received and direct. Where possible, confine comments to the behaviour or work performance of the employee, and not to the underlying character of the person. Avoid phrases that don’t include “I”, for example, “I noticed a drop in your performance recently” – this will create a sense of professional accountability for the employee and is more likely to create change. Where possible, be factual and show evidence for where the employee may be underperforming or causing social disruption. Assure the employee that they are not being singled out, and that your evaluation of the problem would be the same for any other staff member.
Listen to the employee
All managers know just how important feedback is from their employees. In the case of addressing issues, this couldn’t ring any truer. Remember to listen to the employee to understand his or her side of the story, and to gain insight into how they feel about the situation. This is because they may reveal important information that can ultimately help you to understand how they are able to improve.
Agree on a solution
Ending the meeting with a positive and solid plan will ensure a much easier improvement process – this could mean supplying the employee with a formal performance improvement plan. Remember to work closely with HR, set specific goals, time frames, and consequences, as well as meeting regularly with the employee and consistently reviewing the situation. Additionally, you can offer the employee additional training, resources, 1-1 personal meetings, counseling sessions for more personal issues, or even just a simple coffee break at lunch to discuss their progress.
Credit for free-to-use photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels