Future Rights to Uterus On Sale On eBay: Are You Bidding?
You can bid on eBay for the future rights to uterus of a woman. Truly, this is not a joke!
Here is how seller April Creed described her eBay item:
Today I’m Listing something special . It’s hard to be objective but this is a mighty fine collectable.
The winning bidder will receive a handwritten promise ( probably on a paper towel … I’m a busy girl) granting them the future rights to my worn out uterus.
Now I know to some, the thought of owning a preowned body organ that on ultrasound looks like a distorted bag of frog spawn ( ohhhh show me your adhesions baby) is perhaps disconcerting; however this womb is the literal ducks nuts of feminine wonder.
After I die , or alternatively if I’m forced to frolic with a hysterectomy … this beauty is all yours ….to do with what you will. Imagine the possibilities ! You could frame it , serve party nibbles in it , I reckon it would serve well as one of those enjo type cleaning mits. Imagine your partners face when they unwrap it at christmas , scratch that . Give it to your mother in law
Let me tell you a little about my Uterine history. This girl has lived . I was going to post pictures but lets face it … pics get dull . I’ll describe instead ( eBay police would have taken down the lewd content anyway) There was that time my uterus went to Berkley … ( It’s been to Dubbo too .. gasp … how frivolous !) The time my uterus jumped out of a plane ( not my heart in my throat .. my uterus ) The time my uterus rang in sick for work and got sprung by it’s boss taking duck face selfies in the local park sunshine. The time my uterus ran for Mayor . That time my uterus went to a birthday party and woke up in the fastenings aisle at Bunnings ( Glad that night didn’t go viral …still nervous) The time my uterus forgot it was forty and wore regrettable short shorts. And of course the time my uterus got plastered and tried to break into Ikea … its all about the meatballs.
It’s not a virginal uterus … it’s been around the block a few times …and then some . Party girl turned mum turned cougar turned autonomous organ post mid life epiphany . Pretty much it.Anyway … buy it and you can name it Myrtle , Beryl … FFS you can name it Bob …. it’s a socially conscious LGBT aware piece of fleshy goodness . It will be yours to name …. yep … start thinking ( Try being original …. it’s awful when you name your uterus and then find that 80 other uterine owners had the same spark of creativity at the same time.)
Now why am I selling the rights to such a wonderful thing I hear you ask ?
It’s a great uterus , I like it a lot , however…
I am trying to raise funds and awareness for my best friends chemo treatment . PBS doesn’t cover the $93000 treatment and Roche has reduced the cost to around $15000. My crowd funding page raised the cash but truthfully my friends ongoing treatment will cost substantially more . I’m putting the link here. I hope you can contribute and or be educated a little more about the gross inequality of the Australian governments PBS system and the struggle many critically ill people face trying to fund their own treatment / survival. I can’t sell my uterus … apparently that’s illegal. But I can sell the future rights to it. Either way. Please read and Share x
My shiny Jynie scrubs up well . It’s all I have to offer … that and humour x
Please copy and paste the link here to read more http://www.gofundme.com/gas1s8
Due to the posting getting viral, eBay noticed it. The seller posted an update.
Modified title today 13.11.14 at the request of ebay . I have apparently violated ebay policy by selling a body part … I have tried to explain that the rights to a body part are in fact a premise , a subjective theoretical ownership and quite different to something you can whip into a box and send via Australia Post ….. a concept rather than an organ …. Welcome to my listing …. the listing previously known as Uterus . Please bid , share or donate to this cause prior to it being removed. Thank you ebay for allowing me to modify my post and not simply removing same. “The day my uterus went viral”
April x