Funny Valentines Day Quotes, Sayings and Silly Jokes

Send some funny Valentines Day quotes and sayings or some corny Valentine jokes and make your special someone giggle in this Day of Hearts.

“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.” ~ Natalie Wood

“Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.” ~ Albert Einstein

“Husbands are like fires – they go out when they’re left unattended” ~ Cher

“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.” ~Unknown

“Falling in love is so hard on the knees.” ~ Aerosmith

“Love is a grave mental disease.” ~Plato

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” ~ Author Unknown

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” ~ Erich Segal

“To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.” ~ H.L. Mencken

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” ~ Rita Rudner

“If you do kiss a politician, remember this: You are not only kissing him, you are kissing every butt that he has kissed in the last eight years.” ~ Jay Leno

“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.” ~ Woody Allen, Love and Death