Best Bisaya Jokes and Funny Filipino Lines (Part 1)

I have been collecting a list of Bisaya jokes for quite sometime now. One day at a time, I will be posting some funny Cebuano jokes for all my Filipino readers.

See all the Bisaya jokes here.

Enjoy!

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Inday: Ma, kinsa man ako pilion? Ang gwapo or ang batig nawong.
Mama: ikaw gud inday kinsa ang imong pilion:

Ang gwapo nga pasakitan ra ka,

or

ang batig nawong nga magsakit imong mata.???

Hahahah.

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Pari: Muapil ka sa Army of God ?
Tabudlong: Member naku ana, Padre .
Pari: Ngano wla man ka sa misa permi ?
Tabudlong: Secret Agent man gud koh pader .!
Pari: Atay rah !

hahahaha

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Dili tanan party lingaw…ang 3rd party?
(nahan diay mo ana? naay mo underground sa imo langga? ha!)

Dili tanan trese (13) malas..”13 month pay”
(o ha? dba ka alegre ana)

Dili tanan negatibo makamog-ot or makaluya… “Pregnancy Test”
(nice nice maayo gani negative..hapit! amahan unta ka!)

Dili pud tanan positibo maglipay naka or mag silibrit ba karon…”H.I.V Postive”
(na! unya kinsa may ganahan mag hapi hapi ana abir?)

Dili tanan hinog lami…”Pimpols!”
(ewww yucks!? mo kaon diay ka ana? its so kaka!!!..)

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Teacher: What’s the capital of the Philippines?
Chinese Student: mam, kahit ako intsik, ako alam pilipinas,pilipinas, wala capital, pulo utang!

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Teacher: Juan read your 500-word essay in front of the whole class.
JUAN: “My Doggy.” Bow! I have a doggy! My doggy is lost. So, I went outside the house and looked for my doggy! Tokoy, tokoy, tokoy, tokoy, tokoy….. (478 times)

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Sulat si Juan ug love letter gamit ang alphabet:

ABC- always be careful
DEF- don’t ever forget
GHI- go home immediately
JKLM- just keep loving me
NOPQRSTUVW- no one perfectly quite romantic shall treat u very well

naglibog si Juan kay 3 letters na lang nahabilin!…

XYZ- xee you zoon!

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gabi-e nag damgo ko..inom daw ko daghang beer.. . .
daghang BEER..

Daghang kaayong BEER..

Pagmata naku. . wa na!!
wa na!!!

wa nay sulod ang among Arinula!!!..

hahahaha

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