Violent and Morbid Math Problems Cause Teacher To Be Fired

A teacher from Trinidad Center City School in Washington, D.C., who assigned third-grade students a number of violent math problems, had been fired. It was found out that the teacher took the questions from a free homeschooling website “HomeschoolingParadise.com.”

Here are some sample violent and morbid Math problems from the site:

Homeschool Resources: Free Math Worksheets

Brian, a brave member of a SWAT team in California, had a terribly busy week last week. He had to work for 7 whole days. He killed 163 terrorists, 296 murderers and 206 arsonists. How many criminals did he kill on average each day?

Tilda Tiger had many hungry children to feed on Thanksgiving Day. She caught 169 Africans, 526 Americans and 196 Indians. She then put the people equally into 9 enormous ovens to bake. How many desperate people were in each oven?

My mother bought 1500 creepy cockroaches from the supermarket. She baked 548 of the cockroaches on my birthday. She packed the remaining cockroaches into 4 bags and put them in the freezer.
a) How many cockroaches went into the freezer?
b) How many cockroaches were in each bag?

When I was sleeping in a forest last night, 2555 fire ants crawled up my nose and built a nest in my brain. I woke up screaming the next morning. My distraught mother rushed me to hospital for an emergency operation. The doctor was able to kill 1953 fire ants. The remaining ants in my brain formed themselves into 7 equal-sized groups and fled to 7 different organs in my body, one being my stomach.
a) How many fire ants escaped?
b) How many ants fled to my stomach?

Green aliens landed in Chicago and rounded up 1479 math teachers. The bloodthirsty aliens then sucked the blood of 828 teachers and left them for dead. The aliens tied up the rest of the teachers and marched them into 3 UFOs. If there were an equal number of poor math teachers in each UFO, how many teachers were in each UFO?